I’m just going to put it right out there.
Today mesdames et messieurs, I got stung by a baby bumble bee…. on the breast.
This was not the worst part.
We were in the middle of a tour of a monastery built by William the Conqueror. Not only were we locked in the middle a large rectory with a group of elderly tourists but the entire tour was in French. As if we were in the glory of the Vatican, that tour guide just kept talking…and talking…and talking…about the most non-descript paintings I’ve ever seen.
I was standing there -- minding my own business -- and just observing the climate of the room and antiquity of the French tourists around us when I felt something fall right down my polo shirt. Not only was I wearing a polo, but a pullover sweater. Next thing I knew I felt this sharp sting which caused me to thrust my sunglasses and camera at my unsuspecting dad.
I then got to look like the freak in the back of the tour frantically tugging at my shirt, looking down it, sticking my hand in, groping myself, trying to figure out what the hell just happened and attempting to get the now dead, tiny bee out of the cup of my bra.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to exclaim profanities more or been in a situation where this reaction would be more inappropriate.
Since our tour guide was inclined to continue, I got to just feel myself up in the back of the tour group until we changed rooms and I could slip out to go and locate a bathroom.
There were a ton of weddings going on at this city hall/ abbey as well, so I’m 99% sure that in at least one person’s wedding pictures I’m in the back just holding myself. Fantastic.
I made my dad go with me to get ice cream after this ordeal to make me feel better. The fresh “cookies” ice cream made it better.
I’m off to bed but don’t fret; I’ll be blogging all the way home to Strasbourg tomorrow. This gives a few of you a day to catch up, and me a day to recover from temporary carpal tunnel.
Thanks for reading and sorry, there are no pictures to accentuate this blog. I’d like to keep my G-rating on Blogger.
Elaine
Today mesdames et messieurs, I got stung by a baby bumble bee…. on the breast.
This was not the worst part.
We were in the middle of a tour of a monastery built by William the Conqueror. Not only were we locked in the middle a large rectory with a group of elderly tourists but the entire tour was in French. As if we were in the glory of the Vatican, that tour guide just kept talking…and talking…and talking…about the most non-descript paintings I’ve ever seen.
I was standing there -- minding my own business -- and just observing the climate of the room and antiquity of the French tourists around us when I felt something fall right down my polo shirt. Not only was I wearing a polo, but a pullover sweater. Next thing I knew I felt this sharp sting which caused me to thrust my sunglasses and camera at my unsuspecting dad.
I then got to look like the freak in the back of the tour frantically tugging at my shirt, looking down it, sticking my hand in, groping myself, trying to figure out what the hell just happened and attempting to get the now dead, tiny bee out of the cup of my bra.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to exclaim profanities more or been in a situation where this reaction would be more inappropriate.
Since our tour guide was inclined to continue, I got to just feel myself up in the back of the tour group until we changed rooms and I could slip out to go and locate a bathroom.
There were a ton of weddings going on at this city hall/ abbey as well, so I’m 99% sure that in at least one person’s wedding pictures I’m in the back just holding myself. Fantastic.
I made my dad go with me to get ice cream after this ordeal to make me feel better. The fresh “cookies” ice cream made it better.
I’m off to bed but don’t fret; I’ll be blogging all the way home to Strasbourg tomorrow. This gives a few of you a day to catch up, and me a day to recover from temporary carpal tunnel.
Thanks for reading and sorry, there are no pictures to accentuate this blog. I’d like to keep my G-rating on Blogger.
Elaine
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6 comments:
My poor baby girl! And, WHEW! I misread that final sentence and thought you said you wanted to keep your G-String. WHAT!!! I was thinking you've been in France looooong enough, young lady! Then realized it said your "G-Rating."
So, did you eat that icecream or put it on your bee sting? I might have been inclined to do both.
By the way, I had a special reason for celebrating the 4th of July. You are officially on the downslide of your stay in France and will be coming home in less than a month. I felt like the fireworks display in the neighborhood was celebrating that very fact.
What a horrible experience to have in the middle of a tour. You paint a comic picture of what must have been a painful experience. In these situations you just have to make the best of it. Good show, Elaine.
Oh no! I hate bee stings! And what a sensitive area! WOW. I was at an outdoor art show one time, and a bee crawled up my back under my shirt, and when I reached to see what it was, it stung BIG TIME. I just felt like crying. I probably had some ice cream too. I know that is the best way to soothe a hurt.
I mentioned to my friend Tina that you were in France this summer and she said "oh yes, I opened her blog and got so overwhelmed with all the writing and photos, I just closed it" LOLOLOLOL You have to know Tina to appreciate it. She's the one with the genius son Jeff who is working on his PhD in physics. He travels all over the world on grants going to physics symposiums etc. He was just in Milan Italy last month. And Tina doesn't understand what he does at all. He'll be 27 this fall. I told her that I can't even read your job description for this summer, and she laughed and said the same thing about Jeff's work. That's all. Just something I thought of just now.
Ok, I know you miss me. And I know we met at church. But you don't necessarily have to go feeling yourself up at an abbey. But if you did make wedding photos, I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it later when they notice.
Wow, LM, you went with GString huh?
I can't believe I haven't commented on this before! It must have been my internet woes that kept me from it. So, OUCH! Hopefully nobody had a video fixed on you...wouldn't want that to end up on "France's Funniest Home Videos."
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